Colin's Tumbler

irishglow:

whattheshea:

iwishwehadtapedit:

when are the brave boys gonna come?

Or maybe those apples at the top have deluded themselves into thinking they’re superior to the ones closer to the ground because…

Wait, why am I encouraging this dumb apple metaphor?

Ladies and gentlemen, meet the Nice Girl(TM).

Similarly to the Nice Guy(TM), the Nice Girl befriends a guy with the ass-backward logic that if she offers them emotional support (as any good friend should), for a certain amount of time, he’ll eventually have to strip his pants off and putting it in her (for lack of a better option? Classy, ladies. Your low self-esteem is showing). And all the other girls her guy “friend” has ever dated are probably sluts and bitches and ~rotton apples on the ground~, and those skanks just don’t understand him the way she does.

DEAR INTERNET, this quote makes me want to projectile vomit.

Girls aren’t apples. Girls are people, and so are guys. If you’re making them climb for you, then you’re doing it wrong. But if you wanna use this stupid metaphor, then here’s some food for though (geddit?):

Sometimes the apples at the top aren’t getting picked because they are purely self-indulgent, obnoxiously righteous, and idiotic poison. 

The brave boys aren’t coming, love, because as long as you maintain this mentality you’re just not worth the effort.

(But seriously, this apple shit is stupid.)

PREACH. AMEN & HALLELUJAH. Much thanks for Andrea for putting my breakfast time rant into more eloquent words. 

I really like climbing trees, except pines; there’s too much sap. That’s not a metaphor.